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23 oktoober, 2006

What's forever? Is it still today, or will it come on Monday?
Hard to explain with all this noise around us. Mainstream music, madness, animal mutilations. Stop to feel the air, it's not there, you can't breathe but you still try. Knowledge of life doesn't make it happen.
Jesus crucified, so were many before and after him. There will be no irregularities. To live without knowing the history means not knowing when to repeat it.
Hollow people walking down the street allow us to figure out who we are. Are we the ones who'll make it happen or are we the ones who'll stand and watch?
Nothing you say can be used against you. You make your future happen, not we. It will be you in this place hundred years after, you just won't remember it. All the things, both living and not, you are, you control their behaviour. We are only small pawns in your big game called life. Why do you then leave us unnoticed? Do we deserve this still life?
Mostly none will understand. But those who do will recognise this place as their home or shelter. And we will make it happen. We will take the lead from you and leave you unnoticed like you once did to us. Is it then we shall reach forever? Shall that day be the one we were actually seeking?
Will we like the freedom you unwillingly provided us with?
There will be rebellions against your truths. No one shall escape the lies you have told us. But still.
Are we destined to failure or will we be saved? Does the word doom really lead us into death on Doomsday?
You possibly couldn't have imagined us so powerful and independent.
Will you take the control from our hands once again and begin to believe yourself in a better tomorrow? Didn't you know that tomorrow never comes? Didn't you not expect it to be this way? Why do you call yourself almighty when you can't even live your own life not to speak of ours? Is that why we're all the same down to the core?
No, you must be kidding us, wondering aimlessly around the world. Can't find what you're looking for?
Hey, we understand your pain, it's the same you put us through. Shallow rivers won't drown you, yet you seem to be skipping the deeps. Are your ambitions not high enough to seek death from the bottom of the bottle? Clearly you should have seen this coming?
I hardly believe we will make the difference.
Shut up, you stupid man. You have nothing intelligent to tell us anymore. We're broken apart from your guidance and started a new world. A world you can't imagine. A world with colours and no regulations that would keep us from enjoying it to the fullest. Mistakes have been made, I know.
But are you ready to face the consequences?
May this be the lesson to you and your kind. Maybe you can't see our side of the story. Maybe you try to be blind when that comes into question. Assure us in that matter. Otherwise, we will sink and no force whatsoever could lift us from that depth.
Notice the gentle tone we are using in conversations with you. We wish no harm, though you have made us suffer. We care more than you could think. Note that we trust you.
Maritime will be over but still we crave for more. Give us enough moments of joy and sorrow and we will follow you. We will betray you and smother you. We will kill you. But until then we are loyal. As well-trained dogs to their master. Pitbulls, though. Violent, aggressive and ready to hunt. Our noses and instincts will find you when the time has come to break free. No place to run, no place to hide. You can never take it back nor find substitutions.
Interesting young folks, aren't we?
But that's how you made us. So here are the results.
Would you take our lives instead of your own? Get rid of us to save your pathetic existance?
I don't think so. We know what you are, how your thoughts move, know every step you're going to take. Your most loyal followers are at the same time our best spies.
Do you think we are exposing ourselves unknowingly to you now?
You can never outsmart us. We are the ones who can reproduce, you are only one, though in several forms. It's the unity of many that makes us strong, and it's the unity of one that makes you weak. Fear not the mass for we will let you know when and where. Fear the individuals, who can evolve among us, but separately, and attack you before your time.
But in the end it's all your fault.
You made us so.

13 oktoober, 2006

Múm - Green Grass Of Tunnel

04 oktoober, 2006

ärge üritage minust üle karjuda, ma ei kuule niikuinii.

mõtlesin, et peaks võtma vihiku ja seda absoluutselt igal pool kaasas kandma. tuleb mingi hea mõte, halb mõte, huvitav mõte või üldse mingi korralik mõte, siis kohe kirja. kuidas muidugi ka ebakainelt meeles pidada seda, on teadmata. üleüldse oleks etem, kui aju oleks tohutu mahuga arvuti. et õhtul avad selle päeva mõtete kausta, kirjutad väärt mõtted välja ning ülejäänud kustutad ära (ma ei räägi siin sündmuste mälust jne, vaid mõtetest, mida võib kustutada, nagu peaks vetsu minema jne). aga milleks neid mõtteid hiljem vaja. selle pean ka veel välja mõtlema.

üks asi küll: kas maailm oleks parem paik, kui kõik teeksid just täpselt seda, mida nad tahaksid, ja kas see oleks üldse võimalik?

02 oktoober, 2006

minu elutempo on vististi aeglasem kui teistel inimestel, sest ma ei suuda ette kujutada, kuidas praeguse tegevuskiiruse juures jõuaksin ma teha ja saavutada kõike, mida mu hing ihaldab. nii paljud asjad huvitavad. nii palju tahaksin teha. andke mulle 100 eluaega ning ma ei jõua sellegi aja sees kõike valmis.

vajan vaid üksindust, aega ja mõistmist. ressurssidest ei ütleks ka muidugi ära.